Facebook is not a verb

20 Nov 2012 4 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Hawaii, Kvetching, Word of the Day Tags: , , ,

Please do not Facebook me. It ruffles my English teacher sensibilities.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am  not opposed to interaction in the social media arena, as long as you use good grammar! I have a profile, I update my status from time to time. I check in with my friends and family pretty regularly to see what they are up to. I check on my daughter a lot!

Nope, it’s how you use the word that is the problem. Facebook is not a verb. How can you Facebook me? It’s so “In Your Face.” It sounds almost painful.

Please feel free to contact me on Facebook, through Facebook, with Facebook. I simply request that you do not do it directly to me. Facebook is a proper noun–although I have noticed that all is not always proper on Facebook!

I’m not sure why I have such a strong reaction to this emerging colloquialism. I was not so resistant to googling. In fact, I embraced it. I encourage my children to google stuff all of the time. I even offer to engage with them. “Let’s google it,” I cheerfully say as I walk towards the computer (or ask my teenager to get out her phone.)

I have come to accept that I text, I blog and, if I had it in me, I’d even scrapbook.

I remember once my sister described a friend’s son as being out “Bar Mitzvahing.” That sure sounds like fun. I wish we lived in a place where there were so many Jewish kids that mine were at a Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration every weekend. I’ll accept that as a verb any day!

Facebooking does not work for me. Never one to judge, I will not comment on how you choose to spend your time or invest your energy. I extend that basic respect towards you (did you know that disrespect is also not a verb?)

I simply request that you reciprocate in kind. Feel free to contact me, but please don’t Facebook me. Like I said before, it makes me uncomfortable.

Airing our dirty laundry

15 May 2012 14 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Family, Hawaii, Kvetching, Relationships Tags: , , , , , , ,

Being Jewish in Hawaii is not very fun right now. In fact, on some levels, it kind of stinks.

Our congregation is going through a terrible time. Meshugas. We are fighting about the Rabbi. Shame on us. Ahana kōkō lele –or should I say “Halala ukulele?” Much of the behavior has been quite childish.

Our Temple Board has voted 8:5 to recommend not renewing his contract. They have called upon the congregation to vote on the matter and they have not provided any reasonable or substantial information as to why we should follow their suggestion. They just want us to vote.

I hear this kind of situation is not unusual. Many congregations are afflicted with similar woes. That does not make it okay.

My family is upset. That’s kind of the reason I haven’t posted on this blog for a few weeks. I have been distracted.

We have a wonderful relationship with our Rabbi and are agitated that we even have to address this issue.

He married me and my husband almost five years ago, bringing us together as a family.

Our teenager studied for and became a Bat Mitzvah with him. She is devastated at the prospect of going to shul without him. During Erev Shabbat services last week she whispered the announcement in my ear that if he goes….she is not coming back to Temple.

Our younger girl is currently in the midst of the Bat Mitzvah process. She asked to study with him and enjoys their weekly sessions.

It’s not just about a contract, it is about relationships. I am being asked to consider severing a very important personal and family relationship because other people are mad about something and won’t even talk about it with me.

This is like a bad divorce where the adults are fighting and taking sides and don’t even consider how the potential loss affects the kids.

It wasn’t until I was reading the debut issue of Mana Magazine this morning that I wanted to write this blog post.

Mana is “published by a jointly owned subsidiary of The Kālaimoku Group and Pacific Basin Communications.” According to an article in Hawaii Reporter, co-publisher John Aeto said, “We hope to inspire serious exchange, sharing contrasting opinions and ideas on the hard-hitting topics such as governance, education, health, income and more.”

Let’s learn from the Hawaiians. We live in Hawaii. I enjoy the unique and wonderful choice of being Jewish in Hawaii and I won’t let it be spoiled.

“Mana” in the Hawaiian language means power or authority, sometimes spiritual or divine power. I think that our Temple’s mana needs some reorganization.

The magazine mentions kukakuka-talk story and discussion. Yes. We need that.

An article that covered the recent visit from the Dalai Lama deeply moved me. We should take a step back and learn from his message. “He spread his message of compassion, trust and human oneness, and absorbed the intricacies of the meaning of aloha.”

Exactly–the meaning of aloha. How about Shaloha?

He is quoted in the article, “Century of peace does not mean there are no longer any problems among humanity. Problems will be there, even increasing. So, the only way to deal with the problem? Not through violence, not through using force, but through logic, through reason, on the basis of mutual respect, dialogue. This should be the century of dialogue.”

How can I teach my children about peace when they can’t even find it at the Synagogue?

Hawaiian culture engages in the practice of Ho’oponopono – reconciliation and forgiveness. That’s what we need.

And we need a lot of practice.

Let’s talk about the F word…

01 Nov 2011 6 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Family, General, Kvetching Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Every where I go I bump into people who are doing it, on street corners, at the local supermarket, at my kids’ school.

It’s hard to turn around these days and not find somebody asking for money in support of a program or a cause or a trip to the mainland for a championship game. The F word of which I speak has more than four letters. It has 11–FUNDRAISING. But the sound of it is becoming just as distasteful as the vulgar term that usually comes to mind.

I am not unwilling to support a worthy cause. On the contrary. I am an enthusiastic supporter of all causes worthy. I just don’t agree with the  plethora of methods employed to garner my precious support and am not sure that other people’s definitions of worthy match mine.

My husband created an acronym that aptly relates to the title and shares the sentiment. In order to avoid being accused of using profanity, I will spell it out for you: Fundraising Using Children and Kids.

Yesterday I went to the Kapolei Safeway and met a group of cub scouts who were set up next to the entrance. I approached their table without being asked, eager to support an esteemed organization such as theirs. They were selling popcorn. I like popcorn. I was ready to buy. The smallest bag was $10. TEN DOLLARS for a bag of caramel corn? I couldn’t believe it. The one that had nuts was $20. That’s nuts!

That’s what got me thinking about how fundraising has become big business and that too many people besides the actual beneficiary are out there  making money off of my support.

Raise your hand if your kids have had to sell Zippys chili tickets, huli huli chicken tickets or some other kind of tickets for their school or sports team? Then raise your hand again if you ended up buying those tickets, picked up the said chili or chicken and applied it to the next potluck invitation you received.

Or maybe you paid for an entire box of  48 bags of M & M’s because you and your kids ate them over the course of the past month.

I would rather write a check than sell all of those tickets and candy. It is cheaper, so much easier and I can write it off as a charitable donation.

I would also rather support a car wash. That seems like good value for my money and reasonable return for effort.

I wonder how much money each of us spends buying snacks and candy and magazines from every kid that comes knocking on our wallets. What if I applied the money that I spend on your kids to my own and you kept yours to yourself and we all stopped asking everybody to support each other and simply took care of ourselves?

At least these young peddlers  are selling something. I have ranted before about the groups who stand on street corners with scoop nets asking me to drop some cash from my car window so that they can travel to the mainland for “The most amazing opportunity ever.” Usually it is a sports team that has qualified for a national tournament. It looks like begging to me: Children standing on a street corner asking strangers for money so that they can go on a trip to play a game. I say, if you can’t afford it, don’t go.

I also think that these leagues should provide a viable way for their teams to garner support. Find sponsors for these kids. Apply for grants. Give them jobs.

We have come to think of so many luxuries and privileges as necessities for our children and then ask other people to spend money in support of them. Let them concentrate on school and local activities, earn a scholarship for college, get a job and then travel to their heart’s delight.

Please do not misunderstand me. I know that there are many children in our community and beyond that cannot afford even the basic necessities. I am not talking about them. I am the first in line to organize a school supplies drive for these students and to donate money to organizations that feed and clothe and house them. I also think that they deserve the opportunity to participate in extra curricular activities and sports. I am willing to make a donation in support of that too.

I also know only too well that our public schools are under funded and in dire need of support. That is an entirely different blog post.

I just think that our community fundraising efforts have evolved in a  direction that ends up using our children as a means to a somewhat capitalist end and in the process we end up selling ourselves and them a little bit short.

Waiting for the doctor….and waiting….and waiting

24 Mar 2011 3 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Kvetching Tags: , , ,

This one is a discussion, so please join in. If you are a doctor, your perspective would be very helpful.

Several things happened to me over the past few weeks that are related. Most of them  have  in common the fact that I was left waiting for a very long time to see a doctor for an appointment.

Before you comment, let me describe the situations and my perspective on them and then, please, let ’em roll….

Last week I had a follow-up appointment with my endocrinologist. Without going into the details about my health, let me say that I am fine.

I was taken into the examination room about 15 minutes late. I waited in there for about a half hour when I approached the nurse and mentioned that it was taking a long time. She said that the other appointment was taking longer than expected. The doctor came in 10 minutes later. That means I waited almost an hour after my appointment time to see the doctor for a 12 minute appointment. This is not the first time.

He is a GREAT doctor and I am very happy with his care, just not the wait.

Earlier this week my daughter had an appointment for a physical.

It was at 9:45 am. We arrived a few minutes early and the only person present was the receptionist. She said that the doctor usually arrives a little after 10:00 am and that she would do the eye exam and take her blood pressure and then we could sit and wait.

So we did, sit and wait, and wait and wait. Finally I asked her what “A little after 10” means. She said that some times he comes in at 10:15 and others at 10:30, depending on traffic. Who makes an appointment for a patient at a time when the doctor is not even going to be there? It’s not even like he got backed up with other patients. We were the first ones.

When he was not there at 10:15 we left. He is not a GREAT doctor and I will be happy to find another.

I took my other daughter to the dentist yesterday. We waited 20 minutes past her appointment time for them to call her. They didn’t even tell us that they were running late. We managed to figure it out!

Finally, I had an MRI scheduled a few weeks ago for my aching back. I would have been on time for the appointment if they hadn’t closed the parking garage and sent me to another location that included a long walk back to the facility.

I was 5 minutes late and they told me that I had to reschedule. Oh, the irony! Not only am I never late, but I am ALWAYS waiting for people and professionals who are.

Why is it okay to make me sit in these doctors’ offices and wait for an appointment that I  almost always arrive for on time, if not a bit early?  I’m not talking 5-10 minutes. I don’t start to fuss until it’s been at least 15. How am I supposed to honor my schedule and commitments?

Okay, now it’s time for comments. Let the discussion begin.