Book Review: The Phantom Tollbooth

03 Apr 2012 2 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Book of the Week, Family, Hawaii, Mothers and Daughters Tags: , , , , ,

Please forgive my absence and interruption of the new weekly blog features so soon after they began. I was away for two wonderful weeks of vacation with my family and embraced the art of relaxation.

We had a great time and I am happy to be back and blogging ahead.

Perhaps it was coincidence when I started a weekly book review that  at the same time my sister was co-hosting a book event in the Kansas City Jewish Community  in memory of my mother Gloria P. Gershun who started the Jewish Book Fair in that area many years ago. But I think not.

Divine intervention? intention? Or maybe it is my mother’s influence ever in our hearts and spirits.

I certainly did not see a connection on the timing when I began, but I do now. Among other things, my mom was a librarian, a children’s librarian. My sisters and I grew up with books as an integral part of our daily lives. All three of us love to read. We had a mini library in our house when we were growing up–these days they call them book shelves!

No wonder my sister and I were doing book stuff at the same time.

Hers was more directly related to my mom, of course. Thus I have decided to share the book that they featured at the event last month: The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster and illustrated by Jules Feiffer.

While it does not have  a Hawaii connection, the author is Jewish (which I did not know until recently) and I LOVED this book as a child. I still have my copy from way back when that my younger girl enjoyed reading a few years ago.

And now I have a copy signed by the author thanks to my sister (and the author). Mahalo.

This is less of a review and more of a recommend. Perhaps my favorite places that the characters Milo and Tock visit are the Doldrums and Dictionopolis, especially the Doldrums. To this day I can feel the images and mood that Juster creates just by the mention of the word Doldrums.

You are never too old to read The Phantom Tollbooth. Perhaps on the 50th anniversary of its debut is a perfect time. And if you want to borrow a copy, if you promise to be very careful with it, I might lend you one of mine.

Do I need therapy for my therapy?

05 Nov 2011 10 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Family, Mothers and Daughters Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I would not describe myself as a shopaholic. I am not that extreme. But I could definitely be considered a shopper. It’s in my jeans.

My mother was totally a shopper. You could probably refer to her as the Queen Bee of shoppers. She gleefully put together a fall, winter and spring wardrobe every season. I think she chose her last residence for its proximity to Chicos, Talbots and Coldwater Creek that were just down the block. The Jewish Community Center was nearby as well.

My sisters and I have definitely inherited her propensity for supporting the economy (not to mention a definite resemblance in the good looks and charm department as well). We got a lot of practice growing up.

I can remember many a childhood evening spent with my mother and sisters at Southern California’s Buena Park Mall. We tried on clothes at the local Sears, J. J. Newberries and smaller clothing shops. We’d always stop half way through our excursion and call my father from the pay phone in the middle of the mall to let him know we were going to be a few more hours.

I think he was happy for the time to himself and the quiet calm in our home on these evenings. Three Gershun girls can make a lot of noise.

These days my oldest sister does most of her buying online. The younger one is more like our mother and a regular at Kohl’s and T.J. Maxx and always happy to take us there when we visit since we do not have those gold mines in the shopping arena in Hawaii.

I fall somewhere in between.

A few years ago I began to refer to it as retail therapy, noticing the  positive emotional payoff after a satisfactory excursion to Pearlridge Mall or Ala Moana Center.

I definitely took that form of therapy to an extreme after a few major life changing incidents like divorcing my first husband or several years later breaking up with my new boyfriend when we were dating before we made up and he became my second husband.

My overwhelming feelings during those difficult times were not assuaged by the purchase of a new pair of shoes or a cute jacket. They required much grander gestures: redecorating or buying moderately expensive jewelry.

Over the past few years I have tempered my shopping habits. The combination of only needing a wardrobe for one season in Hawaii, trying to stick to a budget along with a concerted effort at trying to be satisfied with what I have usually work to keep me from visiting the local stores and malls a bit more than I used to.

However, recently I have been shopping up a storm.

When I told my friend Linda about this and that I had several things to return at Macy’s, she said that she does that a lot too. She referred to it as “Bulimic Shopping.” It totally made sense.

I also got this from my mother and I know that my younger sister does it a lot too. I purchase way more clothes than I need or convince myself that it looks good on me in the fitting room. When I get home, I realize that I was fooling myself and wonder, “What was I thinking?” So I take it back.

Some times I simply find something that I like better and buy it knowing that I can return the other stuff later.

I started to look at my recent shopping patterns and have clearly identified myself as a bulimic shopper.

Binge and purge.

If you saw all of the receipts stuffed in my wallet you might be inclined to think that I am a hoarder!

In my defense I will mention that I recently lost a bunch of weight (25 pounds, thank you very much) and am in need of new clothes. The old ones are two sizes too big. So I deserve a bit of shopping for a stylish wardrobe to hang in my closet and from my now visible hip bones. It’s a reasonable reward.

But I’ve been doing that buy and return thing A LOT!

Perhaps the shopping is also replacing the eating? It certainly takes my mind off of the food. Some times I go so far as to consider it exercise too. If I shop for an hour is it an hour of walking? Do you think I should seek professional help?

However you look at it: genetic propensity, retail therapy, bingeing and purging,  if not taken to the extreme, shopping  can both fill the basic need to be clothed (in a moderately fashionable) way) and be a reasonable form of recreation.

So, thank you mom and sisters and Linda for sharing this habit and its many symptoms. I do believe I will drop the kids off tomorrow at Religious school and hit the mall….just for an hour or so.