Being Jewish in Hawaii

I’ve been writing thank you notes all of my life. I blame it on my mother. She made us do it. Even when I was in college she would remind me to send a note to Aunt Shirley and Uncle Bud or Aunt Tee and Uncle Alf for the gift that they sent for Chanukkah or my birthday. 

Just like Gloria, I made my kids do the same. I am my mother’s daughter after all. My children now tease me that I insisted they were not allowed to use their Bat Mitzvah gifts, including gift cards, until they had written a thank you note to the considerate person who bestowed upon them a present to mark the occasion. When it came time to open the presents at their birthday parties (a tradition I generally abhor)  there was a designated person to jot down an itemized list of gift and giver while the birthday girl read the card (you always have to read the card first, we learned that from Aunty Monica) and then ripped open the beautifully wrapped package. Thank you notes were mandatory. 

I still get queries from my twenty-something adult children asking if it is okay to send a text or an email in lieu of a hand written note. I loosened my restrictions once they went away to college and agreed to expressions of appreciation via digital means. I left it up to them. 

I prefer a handwritten note myself and try to send them as often as possible. I have two friends who always send something after we get together. The thoughtfulness is never lost on me. It only takes a few minutes to show appreciation and the effort goes a long way. 

Last week I went to a retirement celebration for a friend and she made a few remarks. She thanked her family and friends for all of the support and collaboration over the years and finished by saying: Todah Rabah, Mahalo Nui Loa, and Thank You. There are so many ways to express gratitude. 

Most people I know don’t do things for others in order to be thanked. I certainly donʻt. But it sure is nice to know when it is appreciated. In Hawaiʻi, even Da Bus expresses thanks. It is so cool. If the bus is merging into your lane and you slow down to let it go in front of you, it usually flashes an electronic expression of appreciation: The Shaka (and sometimes it even adds Mahalo.) How awesome is that? 

People make shaka for many reasons, from greeting friends from afar to just saying howzit in passing. From an early age Hawaiʻi children learn how to form a shaka with their hands. It is automatic to flash one when posing for a picture. And when the bus lights up with the shaka sign, it means thank you for your consideration. I get so excited every time it happens and I am absolutely, way more likely to let the bus go in front of me so that I can get the shaka. It involves the whole hand and not just a finger and I am proud to live in a state that values friendly, positive and gracious interactions between people, and vehicles. Are there other places where public transportation is kind and considerate in this way? 

Recently, a bill passed at the Hawai’i State Legislature to make the shaka the “Official State Gesture.” We are a state that chooses to be gracious and kind.

I was on the road last week and the bus actually let me merge in front of it and I was sorry that I was not able to flash my own mahalo shaka in return for all the bus shakas that I received over the years. The next day I heard about Project Shaka. There is going to be an official Hawaii State DMV Shaka vehicle license plate. I am totally going to get one of those and be a permanent shaka flasher to all who trail behind.

I don’t know if my mother would be on board with making hand signals to express her thanks, but I am certain that she would be pleased that her value of gratitude and appreciation instilled in me at a very young age has been passed to the next generation in my children. I also imagine that she would probably be one to let the bus go first and feel that same tickle of delight when the shaka shines its appreciation from the top right corner of the back of the bus.