It was a happy Chanukalulu

11 Dec 2010 1 Comment

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Family, Holiday, Traditions Tags: , , , , ,

I’ve noticed that the media has coined various clever, inclusive titles for the holiday season such as Christmahanakwanzaka or Knishmas. I’d like to add one of my favorites to the mix, “Chanukalulu.”

While it does not necessarily include other holidays, I think it is a nice way to describe celebrating Chanukah in Honolulu. And I have to say that this year it was a totally a Chanukalulu celebration, especially last weekend. I might even venture to say it was a Chanukapalooza!

We began lighting the candles on the first night, but since it was a school night we kept it pretty mellow. I chose the Menorah my mom gave me, the Menorah she gave my daughter, the Menorah my  husband’s mother gave him and the Menorah she gave his daughter.

Our kids get gifts, but we tried to keep it simple this year. The party really started on Friday evening.

The annual Temple Emanu-El and SJS Chanukah potluck dinner and family service brought the congregation and school families together for food, fun and worship. We lit the candles together as a community and celebrated the third night of Chanukkah and Shabbat together. It was nice to  connect in mutual celebration.

On Saturday we went to the Rock of Ages concert at the shul featuring a local band Flux Capacitor.

It was a fundraiser for the School of Jewish Studies and a night out for the family. How often does one get to go to a rock concert at the Synagogue.? The kids danced, the grown ups danced, the band danced.

The final activity in what our Temple President has referred to as a “Trifecta” was the SJS Macabiah games on Sunday morning. The kids played Jewpardy, dreidle and a host of other games as well as ate latkes in the name of Chanukah celebration.

By Monday morning I had what I like to refer to as a Chanukah hangover. We truly celebrated to our limit. Of course we lit the candles as a family  at home until the last night, but our supercharged celebration was concentrated over the weekend.

What I like about it is that it did not focus on presents and getting stuff. Instead, it brought together  our family and our community in mutual celebration. We enjoyed the company of friends new and old and shared the rituals and traditions of our faith that bond us during this holiday season.

Our Rabbi sent us a message the other day and at the end  it said, “May the lights of Chanukah continue to burn brightly within us and bring us and the whole world wisdom, inspiration and peace.”

Now that is the true meaning of Chanukalulu.

Bring on the Thanksgiving noodle kugel

27 Nov 2010 2 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Family, Food, Holiday Tags: , , , ,

In the 20 years I have lived in Hawaii I  only traveled to the mainland twice to spend Thanksgiving with family. Once I met my mother and youngest sister in L.A.. When my daughter was a toddler,  I took her to Kansas City to share the holiday with my mother and oldest sister.

Both were disastrous. Not in the family dynamics kind of way, when one part of the family is not speaking to another part so you can’t sit them next to each other at the table type of thing. We always enjoy the company. It was more about the logistics.

From L.A., my plane was terribly delayed and I did not make it home in time for work on Monday. That soured me on peak travel dates forever after.

In Kansas City it was cold. “Duh,” you might respond. “The Midwest in November? Hellooooo.”

Yes, I knew it would be cold. Yes, I took warm clothes. My mom bought cute little puffy snow jackets at Steinmart for my daughter and greeted us with gift sets that included ear muffs and warm woolen gloves and caps suitable for the most fashionable of bunnies on the slopes. We were suitably armed.

However, I did not take into consideration the discomfort  of  my three-year-old who was used to wearing slippers all year round and who had never experienced the stifling feeling of  thick socks or a jacket that looked like it was made of jet puffed marshmallows sewn together by the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

She was fine when we were in the house. My mom turned up the heat and my daughter did not have to don layer after thick layer for protection against the elements. She was free. It just turned out hard to  hard to go anywhere without a fuss. So we stayed home.

One year my family came here. They stayed at Ko Olina. We had Thanksgiving at the Ihilani. All was good.

I have gotten used to not being together on holidays. I’ve comfortably absorbed into the local families I know and put together one of my own in the past few years.

This year we spent Thanksgiving in Makaha with the Suisos. One of our favorite places and definitely some of our favorite people.

I knew I would not miss my mother due to distance. I did know that I would miss her because I miss her every day. Because it is a special occasion and I would not be able to call and say hello, I wanted find a way to honor her memory and feel her with me in some way.

I wore jewelry she had given me over the years: a ring that my father had given her that I’ve been wearing since high school and some earrings that I bought with one of her birthday checks a few years ago.

And I made “The Kugel.” My mother’s noodle kugel made its appearance at every festive meal except Passover (no noodles on Passover.) We enjoyed its buttery cinnamon sugar goodness  on holidays, Jewish or non.

I started making it almost ten years ago as an addition to our holiday menu. She sent me the recipe. It made my exotic life feel more like home. I don’t prepare it for every holiday. This year I did.

It came out perfect and tasted delicious.

As people passed through the improvised buffet line I heard them ask, “What is it?” With each explanation that “Kugel means casserole in Yiddish and it was my mother’s recipe,” I felt a  connection.

Not enough to completely replace my mother’s presence at the table at which she would not usually sit. But certainly sufficient to brighten her memory and let her distant presence  energize its sparkle in my life and enrich our celebration and appreciation.

Thank you, Mom. Very much.

Target brings a miracle of Chanukah to Kapolei

20 Nov 2010 2 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Holiday Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I have been holding off on writing my annual diatribe against all of the retail establishments who have had their Christmas merchandise on display  since before Halloween. I am amazed (appalled)  at how the Fall season has some how tragically become an almost three-month countdown to the biggest money-making event capitalists could possibly conceive: Christmas.

I even thought of adding a new category to this blog entitled “Kvetching” and lead off with my favorite seasonal complaint mentioned in the previous paragraph. But stuff just kept getting in the way.

I’ve been busy with my family and Rotary and my new job. I haven’t been shopping a whole lot. And I did not want to make that particular complaint a signature issue of a blog that I’ve created to explore how my unique experiences connect with the larger community on the island, on the mainland, across other oceans and definitely other religions.

I still like the idea of creating a category called “Kvetching.” Everybody needs the chance to whine and complain now and then.

Today I am not going to complain. Just the opposite. I am going to kvell (Maybe that should be a category as well. Maybe I should rename all of my categories with Yiddish titles.)

Something great happened yesterday and I am of the sneaking suspicion that it is my own very personal reward for exercising a bit of self-restraint. I have not complained too much about the fact that Christmas trees that have been subtly emerging over the past month or the “Holiday” decorations and events that are named with such political correctness, but adorned with absolutely no diversity whatsoever.

I have simply rushed passed them and when my children were in tow, murmured minimal mumblings about the silliness of it all. I have not gotten worked up at all.

Until yesterday. We stopped by Target on our way to the IPA Scholastic Book Fair to get some supplies for the Ko Olina Resort & Marina Thanksgiving Outreach we are participating in today. The Rotary Club of Kapolei will be serving 200 meals at the US Vets facility at Kalaeloa.

That’s when it happened. We were in the greeting card section when my younger girl joyfully exclaimed, “Chanukah decorations!”

I turned to look at what she was talking about and I saw it too, with my very own eyes, Chanukah decorations. It was not just one or two items shoved on a bottom shelf as a token nod to people who might be in search of something else in life besides Christmas. No, it was an entire section that was strategically placed at the end of the aisle to attract our attention and encourage us to buy, buy buy. And I did. There were plates, napkins, menorahs, dreidles, decorations and candles.

I was thrilled and my daughter was too.

When I first moved to Hawaii my mother had to send me stuff from her Temple gift shop in Kansas City. She’d send me Chanukah gelt and small dreidles to take to the kids’ classrooms. She sent  plates and napkins so we could have holiday appropriate celebrations in our home.

Whenever there was a Jewish holiday, Kapolei Safeway would display the matzah and chicken soup boxes as if that’s what we eat on a ritual basis.

Over the years I have been able to purchase what I need at our own Temple gift shop and have done a lot of online shopping as well. I always support the Innisbrook gift wrap fundraiser at IPA because they have Chanukah wrapping paper and gift bags.

Yesterday I supported Target. We bought plates, napkins, decorations and even some candles that we don’t need. If they are going to give us a whole section, I am going to shop there–whole heartedly.

My husband described it in  capitalist terms, if I show a demand they will offer the supply!

I don’t know how long those items were there. Perhaps they went up in October as well. But since the first night of Chanukah is on December 1 this year, I saw last night as excellent timing. A few weeks before the holiday, right around Thanksgiving is the perfect time to get “In the spirit.”

It’s like our own little Chanukah miracle, right in the middle of the Kapolei Target, offering a spirit of good will for the season. This  will certainly buoy me down the aisles of that store and others with a much smaller kvetch on my tongue and a good dose of holiday cheer in my heart.

Sukkot or soccer?

03 Oct 2010 1 Comment

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Holiday Tags: , , , ,

Softball or Sunday school? Friday night services or the Friday night football game? It’s hard to balance the demands of our kids’ secular lives with our desire to be active in Synagogue life as well.

Last week the choice was between the annual Sukkot Barbecue and service and after school sports practice–my younger daughter plays soccer and the older one is on her school’s volleyball team.

As a general rule I would have chosen the barbecue, but soccer practice is only twice a week–Wednesday and Friday and she just missed last Friday’s practice and Saturday’s game because it was Yom Kippur.

For us it is compounded by the fact that it takes almost an hour to get to our shul on any weekday after 3:00 pm and it’s an hour drive home if we leave before 6:30 pm. Traffic and distance are a huge roadblock to our weekday participation.

We are committed to Sunday morning religious school. Our kids rarely miss a class for that. I have heard other parents talk about their struggles because their kids games are scheduled at the same time. We haven’t ran into that conflict yet. In that case I would forgo the sport.

How does it work for you?

Why do they call it a fast when it goes by soooo slow(ly)

21 Sep 2010 4 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Food, Holiday Tags: , , , , ,

Fasting was a big topic of conversation in our family this weekend. My oldest daughter is 13 and it is the first year she felt responsible for observing this Yom Kippur ritual.

Considering how much time we usually spend talking about food and what we are going to eat and how we will prepare it and how good it tastes, it is not a surprise that in its distinctive  absence  we  filled the void with conversation about not eating, or when we would eat or how hungry we might be feeling or how the feeling of hunger kind of goes away after a while.

At one point I mused that the word fast is really an oxymoron all by itself. Why on earth would they choose a word that suggests a rapid finish for an act that takes such a very long time?

We usually go to Temple in the morning until about noon when we go home and do not return at 3 pm for the afternoon service. Traffic and school nights always made it seem so inconvenient.

This year, Yom Kippur was on a Saturday, eliminating both of those issues. Also, I really wanted to go to the Yizkor (memorial) service in the afternoon. This is the first year that both of my parents are gone and it seemed very important to attend services in both of their memory.

I lit the two Yarzheit candles  before sundown on Friday and they burned the requisite 24 hours on our kitchen counter. It was amazing how those two little twinkling candles were such a comfort, like my parents were here with us for a short time, sharing the day with us. The light, their dancing spirits, brightening our home for while. I felt so sad when they were done.

It turns out that the afternoon service is now my favorite. It was peaceful and meaningful. The sun pouring into the Synagogue as it set and the warm glow from the lights of the memorial plaques taking its place.

And it is totally easier to fast while you are at services praying and reflecting and concentrating on other thoughts than when you are sitting at home waiting for the day to end so you can eat.

We broke the fast at Kit n Kitchen on University Avenue. I’ve only been to this restaurant once before, but I have very fond memories of that meal. My husband took me there  for dinner four years ago, soon after we were engaged. We planned our wedding that night. The food was good too.

It was good again on Saturday–and not just because we were hungry.

While I think it would be nice to invite people to our home and break the fast together, it is very  hard for me to imagine preparing a meal when I am so hungry. I haven’t quite figured out  the logistics of that one, so we go out.

The kids had the Volcano Stone Grilled. They bring the hot stone to the table and grill the meat and vegetables right there.

We were treated to the owner, Kit’s, presence as he helped prepare the steak for our children.

Both  my husband and I ordered lamb and savored every bite.

The kids enjoyed their Coca Cola bottle collection.

It was a particularly meaningful holiday, fast and services and memorial and all.

How/where did you break the fast?

We should not be the lost tribe

20 Sep 2010 3 Comments

by Being Jewish in Hawaii in Holiday Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

One of the reasons that I started this blog is because very little is written about the Jewish people who live in Hawaii.   While we might be a minority in this diverse island culture, we are still a vibrant, active community who deserves appropriate representation and coverage by our local media.

Most people don’t even know we exist. In Hawaii we are an anomaly.

Community events, local elections and school activities are scheduled with no regard to our most religious holy days like Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur or our widely popular festival, Chanukkah.

I don’t expect the local public to stop functioning on our account. That would be ridiculous. But it would be nice if they tipped a nod in our direction every once in a while.

The community in which I grew up in Southern California in the 1960’s had very few Jewish families. I know what it’s like to be one of the few Jewish kids in a school, but at least they knew we existed. I got to sing the dreidle song in our school holiday program every year. And while I might have sung it a bit off-key, I sang it with pride in the opportunity to represent my family and my Jewish community.

The first time I suggested that the holiday program at my daughter’s school be about more than Christmas it started a HUGE controversy. Luckily they have come a long way since then and we are quite comfortable with the season. They actually listened.

Local media Christmas coverage begins long before the Thanksgiving turkey is defrosted, yet there is nothing written about Chanukkah. It cracks me up that the Kapolei “Holiday” parade only represents Christmas and is often scheduled during Chanukkah.

This Saturday was no exception. Yom Kippur came and went with little  acknowledgment from our local media. The Star Advertiser features their religion page on Saturday, a perfect opportunity to feature the Jews’ most holy of holy days.

Instead their lead story was, “Church leaders learn to set physical limits.” They included a poem submitted by a local Jewish woman in the briefs at the bottom of the page.

There are so many stories they could write. Here’s a few great angles they could have chosen:

Yom Kippur and the primary election were on the same day. How did Jews vote?

Governor Lingle attends services at the local reform Jewish Synagogue. (Hello?)

Jews fast on Yom Kippur, where were they breaking that fast this year?

And these are just a few good ideas. I recently learned that on Rosh Hashanah a few weeks ago, several of our Temple members were at Magic Island for the ritual of Tashlich and ended up saving a drowning child’s life while they were there. That might have made a good story.

Instead it was posted as a brief in the Police section, never mentioning the mitzvah performed by this group of people who happened to be at the right place at the right time—-because they were Jewish!

Local TV news isn’t much better. Hawaii News Now briefly mentioned the primary election dilemma and Rosh Hashanah was brought up in connection with the businessman who was arrested in relation to charges of human trafficking. Nice!

I don’t think we are left out on purpose. I think we just don’t exist for most people in Hawaii. That cracks me up too.

There are communities on the mainland where their schools are actually closed for the Jewish Holidays, like we close the schools for Good Friday here. Except they close the schools there because too many people would be absent and it isn’t worth the money it takes  to operate on those days. Good Friday is a state holiday in Hawaii. Explain that one!

Thus, my blog was born, to give our local community a voice outside of ourselves. Being Jewish in Hawaii is definitely a unique experience, one that certainly needs to be shared with more than just my fellow local Jewish community.

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